Guards Dump Queen’s Body Behind Palace
At 3:18 PM GMT today, in accordance with British royal tradition, two palace guards stuffed the body of Her Majesty,
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Politics
Obama Will Give Free Medical Advice via Twitter DMs
In the wake of Republicans’ planned phaseout of ObamaCare, Americans of all infections and pestilence will now have the opportunity
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Clerical Error Leads to Open Casket of Wrong George Bush
Mourners at the Capitol Rotunda in Washington to honor former President George H.W. Bush today were greeted by a confused
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Study: From 1 to Jesus, Mike Pence Devout Butterface
Heralded as the next step in natural science and the final step in Christian science, researchers of the University of
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Trump Orders Gold Stars Be Worn to Remember Synagogue Victims
President Trump has ordered that all Jewish US citizens must immediately wear gold stars in remembrance of the 11 victims
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President Introduces New Ant Farm
Today President Trump welcomed the White House press corps to view his educational ant farm in an informal Rose Garden
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‘We Mustn’t Abandon Civil Discourse,’ Cries Child Torn from Mother’s Arms
Six-year-old Daniel Rodriguez cried out in defense of civil discourse as U.S. immigration officials tore him from his mother’s arms
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Man Carrying Concealed Fact Arrested on White House Grounds
A man carrying a concealed fact was arrested Friday afternoon after he breached the perimeter fence at the White House.
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Congress Creates 10,000 Jobs by Turning Yellowstone National Park into Used-Battery Dump
Claiming the new bill will invigorate the American used-battery-dumping industry, Congress passed HR-364 today, which will transform Yellowstone National Park
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America Celebrates New Mass-Shooting Record
Americans are celebrating the unparalleled achievement today of a historic mass shooting in Las Vegas that left 59 people dead
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