Man Carrying Concealed Fact Arrested on White House Grounds

A man carrying a concealed fact was arrested Friday afternoon after he breached the perimeter fence at the White House. The Secret Service quickly subdued the individual and disarmed him of his academically obtained science-based information.

No one was informed during the arrest, though one agent who was exposed to the fact was taken to a White House communications office, treated, and released.

The intruder, identified as Ted Gunderson, 26, of California told the officers that he was there to see President Trump and did not intend to use the fact illegally. It is unknown whether he possessed a permit to carry potentially factual information. Gunderson is being charged with entering a restricted area “while using or carrying a dangerous verifiable truth.”

The arresting officers found one printed copy of the fact and a passport on Gunderson. In accordance with the law, the fact was successfully sequestered and discarded.

A Secret Service official said the breach was more serious than most other cases of fence jumping at the White House. “The man was able to elude multiple layers of veracity before being stopped near the entrance at the South Portico,” officer Milo Grunger said. “Had agents not acted so quickly, it could have escalated into reckless dissemination of peer-reviewed information on the White House grounds.”

Gunderson faces 17 months in prison and three years probation on one felony count of entering a restricted building while carrying concealed wisdom and two felony counts of enlightening a federal officer.