Amazon to Deliver Condoms Straight to Your Penis
In January, Amazon will introduce a drone-based condom delivery service that will unwrap and unroll select condom brands directly onto
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Technology
Congress Creates 10,000 Jobs by Turning Yellowstone National Park into Used-Battery Dump
Claiming the new bill will invigorate the American used-battery-dumping industry, Congress passed HR-364 today, which will transform Yellowstone National Park
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Apple Releases Same iPhone
In a move sure to delight consumers and shareholders alike, Apple introduced the iPhone Same today, a new model iPhone
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Doomsday Clock Now Water Resistant up to 500 Meters
The Bulletin of Atomic Scientists has updated its Doomsday Clock, which indicates how close humanity is to a global catastrophe,
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Catholic Church Provides Flint Residents Faucet-Mounted Water Sanctifiers
“Finally, truly pure water for the people of Flint.” —Archbishop of Detroit. The Archdiocese of Detroit has unveiled a new
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Rick Perry Still Researching How to Microwave Hot Pockets so They’re Just Right
Department of Energy Secretary Rick Perry outlined his key cabinet-level priorities in a speech to Energy Department staff late last
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