Our Sex Life Used to Be Great, Then We Got a Stop Sign
Our sex life wasn’t always bad. For a while there it seemed like we had sex frequently in a well-lit,
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Health
Obama Will Give Free Medical Advice via Twitter DMs
In the wake of Republicans’ planned phaseout of ObamaCare, Americans of all infections and pestilence will now have the opportunity
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KFC Launches Incredibly Unclear ‘5 Dollars’ Promotion
Customers and staff at KFC franchises across North America tentatively held out five-dollar bills this week after the launch of
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Whole Foods Commits to Farms with Cage-Free Workers
Representatives from the national supermarket chain Whole Foods announced at a press conference today that, after years of demand from customers,
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McDonald’s Unveils ‘Worst Sandwich in the World’
The Golden Arches are innovating again. McDonald’s rolled out a new premium sandwich Friday that it believes can reinvigorate the
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Pence Hospitalized After Eating Oatmeal Laced with Cinnamon
Vice President Mike Pence is in critical but stable condition this afternoon after eating a bowl of oatmeal believed to have
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4 in 10 Americans Fail to Thank Troops Before Sex
Researchers at the Sexual Health and Psychology Department at Northwestern University announced the results of a national survey today revealing
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‘Future of Our Species in Doubt,’ Say Leading Cockroaches
In a statement that has sent shockwaves through interspecies political circles, leading cockroaches in the areas of food salvage, brightness-level,
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The Tragedy of Child-Sex-Trafficking Awareness
When 24-year-old marketing assistant Jonathan Billings rented the Oscar-nominated film Lion, he knew there was a chance he might get
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Surgeon General Urges Americans to Check Chest Cavities for Favorite Sponge
At a press conference Thursday, U.S. Surgeon General Sylvia Trent-Adams confirmed that she had lost her “best” surgical sponge and
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