‘I’ll Believe Climate Scientists When I See Them Holding Test Tubes of Bubbly Blue Liquid’
A lot of people out there have already made up their minds that climate change is real. But as a climate
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Clerical Error Leads to Open Casket of Wrong George Bush
Mourners at the Capitol Rotunda in Washington to honor former President George H.W. Bush today were greeted by a confused
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KFC Launches Incredibly Unclear ‘5 Dollars’ Promotion
Customers and staff at KFC franchises across North America tentatively held out five-dollar bills this week after the launch of
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‘We Mustn’t Abandon Civil Discourse,’ Cries Child Torn from Mother’s Arms
Six-year-old Daniel Rodriguez cried out in defense of civil discourse as U.S. immigration officials tore him from his mother’s arms
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Native Americans Strike It Rich as River Runs Black with Oil
A leak in the Dakota Access Pipeline Thursday is being hailed by natives as “a once-in-a-generation windfall of profits.” Standing
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Congress Creates 10,000 Jobs by Turning Yellowstone National Park into Used-Battery Dump
Claiming the new bill will invigorate the American used-battery-dumping industry, Congress passed HR-364 today, which will transform Yellowstone National Park
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Pence Hospitalized After Eating Oatmeal Laced with Cinnamon
Vice President Mike Pence is in critical but stable condition this afternoon after eating a bowl of oatmeal believed to have
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Mark Hamill Grants Dying Fan’s Wish, Cuts Him in Half with Lightsaber
Dreams came true for one special little boy today. Eight-year-old Tommy Wilcox, who had been battling terminal cancer at Cedars-Sinai
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Poll: Most Russian Hackers Would Vote for Trump Again
Facing mounting scandals and a stalled legislative agenda, President Trump currently holds a historically low approval rating for a president
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4 in 10 Americans Fail to Thank Troops Before Sex
Researchers at the Sexual Health and Psychology Department at Northwestern University announced the results of a national survey today revealing
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