As a black NFL player, the weight I carry on my shoulders goes way beyond Game Day. Racism? Check. Death threats for speaking out against racial injustice? Check. But Dandruff? That stays on the bench. I may not stand for the anthem, but with SwanCare Plus For Men Dandruff Shampoo™ I can always stand for a clean, healthy scalp.
Check out this scoreboard: the black incarceration rate is five times higher than for whites. But SwanCare Plus For Men Dandruff Shampoo™ has seven times more moisturizing power than regular shampoo.
SwanCare Plus For Men Dandruff Shampoo™ provides powerful relief from dryness whether I’m getting tackled on the field or getting shot by police during a routine traffic stop. That’s because SwanCare Plus For Men Dandruff Shampoo™ is specially formulated with Woke™ ingredients that fight irritating and itchy dandruff as hard as white people fight to keep me from voting.
I’ve had skin in this game ever since my ancestors arrived in American on slave ships. But thanks to the powerful dandruff-fighting ingredients in SwanCare Plus For Men Dandruff Shampoo™, the only white oppression I deal with is oppressing the flakey white bits of skin on my head. That, and a lot of people on Facebook want me lynched.
Okay, it’s time for me to go—looks like someone called the cops on me again because they were too far away to tell I’m famous.
SwanCare Plus For Men Dandruff Shampoo™, because #BlackDandruffMatters.