President Trump Demands Asylum in Russia After Hijacking Air Force One

Faced with possible charges of conspiring with Russia to influence the 2016 U.S. election, President Trump today hijacked Air Force One and ordered it flown to Moscow where he has formally requested political asylum.

“At 4:29 this morning, the president tweeted that he had taken over Air Force One and that he intended to defect to and become a citizen of the Russian Federation,” said White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer, who then cautioned reporters not to jump to conclusions regarding the president’s actions.

“Let me be clear: as of right now, the White House is treating this as merely a routine presidential defection.”

Pentagon radar records released this afternoon showed two Russian MiG-31s intercept Air Force One as it crossed the border with Finland. The jets then escorted the president’s plane to Kubinka Air Base near the capital. A high-ranking military officer who asked not to be named said unconfirmed reports from the ground in St. Petersburg indicated the plane landed there briefly to allow the president to play nine holes of golf at a local resort before resuming the journey to Moscow.

In Washington, a spokesperson for Vice President Pence stressed that without all the facts it was premature to speculate on the future of the presidency: “It would be irresponsible of me to comment at this time. Other than a few tweets from President Trump in the past hour indicating he has taken a Russian wife and hopes to bear many strong Russian sons, we know very little.”

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